the dream job is probably being a greek water nymph in an early romanticism painting…..in a pond, tiddies out, looking bored & playing men with my girlfriends
Me brooding on yay sounds like a terrible fucking idea where I’d probably end up telling you how much you fucking suck so no I won’t be partaking in the coke your 40y/o nerd friends brought over 👽
I can’t see my relationship lasting more than another year. Once that’s over I’m done with traditional relationships. I don’t have any overwhelming feelings for him and don’t see ys working out in the long run. I think our core values are too different and I also can’t bring myself to do anything with his family. That’s another thing I thought about a lot. My bfs mom would be my child’s grandmother if it ever got that far and I don’t like them enough for me to ever want that. Ive already refused to attend his sisters wedding and I have absolutely no interest in spending any holiday with his family. When the holidays do come up this year, we’ll be spending them separately with our own families. I never want to date anyone who considers them myself a gamer again 🤮 The sound of rapid typing from a keyboard literally just pisses me off now. He’s level whatever in his imaginary game but can’t cook or clean at 24 years old and has his parents pay shit for him? Uh no miss me with that shit. The respect I had for him has been rapidly diminishing and honestly I just can’t wait to be single. Just a reminder though don’t sign leases with people you feel lukewarm about.
It’s been a while since my last update but I’m finally in a better place. My tongue piercing became very symbolic for me as a representation of my grandmother. I took it out after 8 months due to gum and bone loss it was causing but the timing of it just made sense. Taking it out was a representation of my mourning period coming to an end. In a way I also feel like it was a release of the energy that may have kept my grandma from being all the way at peace and the removal signifying my acceptance of her death. It serves as a very important lesson on loss though and helps me to be mindful. I miss the weight and feel of the piercing like I miss the wisdom and warmth of my grandmother. Every time I brush my teeth or eat something spicy, I’m reminded that the piercing is no longer there and with that, I remember that my grandmother is also no longer here. So it is and so it goes…
